I got a little bit of hope Like a soap on a rope Sweeter than sour But getting thinner by the hour Falling fast, and I'm running out of gas
I need to learn how to write poetry. How do people write poetry? Do they just sit down and write insane metaphors and it's beautiful, or do they work really hard at it and slave over alliterations and word choice? Margo should teach me. I'll call her up and she'll give me a lesson on how to write poetry. Speaking of writing, I should edit my novel. Until 2 weeks ago or so, I haven't even been brave enough to think about it, but now I think I may reread it and print it- just so I can keep it forever. March is National Novel Editing Month, which I'm not going to do, but it is none the less.
I hate the dentist. Really truly. They have all those terrible drills that make me extremely nervous and wreck my body with loud, obnoxious drilling noises. I got 2 cavities filled today. Man, it was terrible. My mouth is still numb. And I never know what they're doing to me, either. All of a sudden, something pinches or stings, or they've got a clamp in my mouth, or tooth-dust is flying in front of my goggled-face. Is it supposed to feel like that? Why don't dentists realize that you can't respond to their questions when your mouth is full of cotton balls? And my dentist is very strange and thinks, for some unknown reason, I'm really upset that I'm not going to Stanford next year, and keeps telling me it's all for the better. And he is certain that my mother is smarter than my father, and why don't I play basketball? and how's that sister of yours- she's a freshman, right? Are you 6 feet yet? Is Pomona near San Diego? In the mountains? Dude, I can't talk! You've got a drill in my mouth.
I can't decide whether or not I like my parents being doctors. It's very handy- as I hardly ever go to the doctor, when I'm sick they just write prescriptions and bring me meds from their office. But they also tell these horribly depressing stories at the dinner table, or when they come home. And I say, I didn't need to know that perfectly healthy, delightful patient of yours has cancer, or that the 3 year old has a strange, unclassifiable disease. And they say they're upset, and maybe they are, I just absolutely hate stuff like that. Please let me deal with the close tragedies rather than dragging me through all the medical emergencies in Boulder County!
Love me Hate me Make me live again I need you around
Heal me Hurt me Make me live again I want you around
For the Athen's 2004 Olympics, I had all sorts of commentary on it. Perhaps because swimming is so close to my heart, as is cycling. But I have been watching these Olympics as much as I can, I just haven't written about it. I was psyched last night when Julia Mancuso won the gold in the Giant Slalom. Only the second gold for the USA ski team, and the first USA women's since Peekaboo Street. Ah, that Peekabo is great. I was quite the fan of her. Anyway, that was exciting. NBC did a vingette on Julia Mancuso and Lindsay Kildow. I'm glad Julia won- she seemed much nicer than Lindsay. It was sad that Lindsay crashed, though, I never like that.
I like to make fun of ice dancing, Bode Miller, the Flying Tomato (although, Joy's right, he is kinda cute). I think I'll become a luger (lugeist? luge-person?) and go to the Olympics. Then all sorts of people will know an Olympian. It'll be great. And I'll be on a commercial looking very dignified.
Cassie was hearing again yesterday, but just a little. Kristen says there is hope that she might not lose her hearing completely, whereas Candace says it's fairly likely that she will. My doctor parents were useless in their information. "It could go either way" says Mom. I hardely know the girl and I've been really uptight all week to know what happens to her. If I could, she could have the hearing in my right ear- and then we'd both have 1/2 hearing. That would be fine. Please don't let Cassie lose all her hearing. She's such an amazing kid, she especially doesn't deserve this.
February 23, 2006
Why do the worst things happen to the best people? I really wish I knew you better Cassie. We used to play tennis together at Meadows. But I haven't talked to you since English class last year. That's terrible- I missed out. May the force be with you. Really.
There's things I might have said Only wish I could Now I'm leaking life faster Then I'm leaking blood
Tell the repo man And the stars above You're the one I love
We got 2nd (SECOND!) in state yesterday. WOO! Not me personally, but the team. 2nd by 6 points. 6 points ahead of the third team (Highlands ranch. Where did Highlands ranch come from? Who knows- but they had some speedy girls). Cherry Creek nearly doubled our score. But that's alright. We were all very happy to get second. Second is great. Especially when you're racing the Menenenenenzes and other insanely fast girls (how DO they make it look so easy. It ain't that simple) I personally placed 13th in the 100 free, 14th in the 100 back, and my medley relay and 4x100 relay both placed 5th. Good meet, I should say. All sorts of best times. I hope that isn't the fastest I'll ever swim. I have to go faster to make the D3 cuts for college. I hope I go faster next year. Swimming, however fun it is normally, is more fun if you swim fast.
But I will certainly miss all those girls. Kath and I had a little tearing-up fest before our relay. No one else sympathized, even Steph, who is super excited the season is over. A good thing about swimming is the pool water hides your tears. To the amazing swimmers of the Fairview swim team. May you always smell like chlorine and be able to laugh:
You never saw a man With bigger eyes that understand He said Good luck-- you know you better just forget it 'Cause love is never in the same place that you left it
I've been promoted from InDepth editor to associate Editor-in-chief of the newspaper at school. It was a strange turn of events- I'm sure they chose me because my previous position was easily filled. Why Jimmy resigned I don't know- he said he wants to "write more" and that he wasn't great at the whole "leadership thing". I agree with that last comment, but he isn't the kind of person who recognizes that by themselves. Anyway, today the InDepth section met to plan their next issue. Technically, I'll have nothing to do with it really, but they asked me to help start planning, and I agreed, because I miss working with them already. (don't ask me why, as the last issue was high-tension and I ended up doing more than my share of work. Of course, I was the "Indepth editor in chief", while the Carey, Eryn and Viv were just associates. Hum. But they did make me laugh.) So we went to plan, and without one word from me, they decided to do their next section on high fashion. HIGH FASHION! What the heck? That's insanity. No one cares. Correction: Carey and Eryn and Jimmy care. but no one else. I didn't say a word for an hour and a half as they shouted over their brilliant ideas. After that, I excused myself and did the suduko in the Daily Camera. High fashion? And because I'm no good at denying people- we probably would have done it even if I had been in charge. Thank goodness that I don't have to deal with that. Desecration of my beloved special section. Alas.
I'll know, I won't take a chance. I know he'll be just what I need Not some fly-by-night Broadway romance. Until then, I shall wait. And till then, I'll be strong. Oh, I'll know when my love comes along.
I signed my life away today. Not really truly, but I did sign a piece of paper that said I would model (model? Why would I ever model? But Carey was convinced) for Carey if she ever become a magazine editor. Summer and Fall campaigns actually. It was the strangest piece of paper I've ever signed. It would be absolutely insane if in 10 years, I get a call from Carey and she says she has my legally tied to modeling for her. I'd donate all my money to charity, that's what I'd do. She'd pay me huge sums of money because she'd be in charge of Vogue or Vanity Fair and I would give my money away. Every cent. And buy a huge portion of rain forest in Africa, or send 500 Nicaraguan girls to school, or give 1000 oxen to family across Asia. But model? How weird would that be?
Mrs. Brennan says I have a good speaking voice because I know how to use my diaphragm because I'm a swimmer. And, in fact, I did swim a fifty today without a breath. Zero. Zip-e-dee-do-da breaths. It was hard. But really, swimming without air is much more mental than it is lung-capacity. Of course, you do have to have a certain fitness and be used to swimming, but besides that, it's all mental. I doubt anyone has died from trying to swim a 25 or 50 or 75 without breathing. Although in You Shall Know Our Velocity this book I'm reading by Dave Eggers, Will, the MC, says (I'll paraphrase, as I'm much to lazy to walk up all 14 stairs to get my book. oh wait! It's in my backpack right next to me.) Will, the MC, says "We needed to get out of the water before we mistook it for a bed. I was sure that was how people drowned; not in a fight, not with thrashing but with thoughts of rest". Who knows. Will isn't a very happy man, I'm afraid, whereas I'm quite content. But then again, neither of us has talked to a drowned person.
My Champ hat was returned safely to me, thank goodness. I missed it. And Jinger hasn't written since October. Isn't that sad? Lost contacts. Makes me want to hug all my friends. Right now. And tell them that if, in fact, when we're 30 and they come across a picture of me, they should call me just to say "Too bad we didn't keep in touch". OR "You have to model for my magazine." =)
