Even the best fall down sometimes Even the wrong words seem to rhyme Out of the doubt that fills my mind I somehow find You and I collide
I could have stayed there for eternity- with the close-up shots of my friends and allies and comrades and their siblings flashing upon the screen, under the stars, at the place where I have literally grown up in. That club has been my home for longer than any other place (except my house). It has more fabulous memories and laughs and tears than anywhere else, too. I used to bawl when my coach gave their short schpeel about me, and I nearly did again tonight. I like to think I've grown out of my being-incredibly-touched by the somewhat-cheesy compliments people throw at me, but I haven't. The empty compliments thrown at me by parents and swimmers who didn't look at me during the entire season until I suddenly got award I can gracefully avoid without feeling too touched. But the speeches and the hugs and the words of wisdom start to get to me. And they really didn't say half of the things I've done for that team. NOt only did I have a parade of Meadows members cheering for me yesterday, I had Mesa Coaches and BCC and Louisville swimmers, even the infamous Elks had a few people on their side inconspicuously rooting me on. What do people have against Abby? Or what do people see in me? Where those tears in Amy's eyes as she ignored my dripping suit and gave me a huge hug? And how much of Mr. Albritton's bouncy "congrats" was his caffine-high? And did Jill really cry while talking about my 100? And what about the slide show made Julia, who I have never seen cry despite her comforting me countless times, tear-up and have silent tears stream down her face? Where those Mr. Mahoney's sniffles after his speech? No way have I grown out of people being proud of me. There is no better feeling in the world that the person you admire the most giving you a huge because you did something good.
That entire post made no sense. But it is nearly 12. And I'm emotional
Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always This sick strange darkness comes creeping on so haunting everytime
During the KBCO Select-a-set lunch, Ginger played a set of songs that the person wanted to be played at their funeral. Slightly morbid, no? But doesn't everyone picture their own demise- the romantic, heroic death followed by the faces at the funeral and what you will be remembered as. I guess that knowing what is playing in the background of your fantasy-funeral is understandable. ANYWAY- Jimmy Cliff's "I Can See Clearly Now" was one of the set's songs, and I thought that was an interesting choice. I'm not very good at being concise, am I? But one doesn't have concise thoughts, and trying to force everything into a nice little sentence ruins the point. In English in middle school they had us write a page, then cut it down to half a page, then a paragraph, then three sentences, then two, then one. It was painful, I must say. Not that I didn't adore my middle school classes, that particular exercise wasn't very good in my standards.
We had prelims yesterday. It was very exciting. Gah! I think I get more nervous and anxious about prelims and finals in summer league than I do about State. Although I was freaking out about that 100 free last February. Perhaps because I make a bigger difference in summer league than I do at State, amongst the Olympic-trialists and die-hard swimmers. But yesterday was great fun- I swam very hard, and somewhat fast, although no personal bests, but hopefully tomorrow I'll swim that fast. The best part of summer league is all the swimmers and coaches, by the time you're 17, you know most of them. So I got to talk to Mr. Albritton and Amy and Tiffany and Danny threatened to give me the plague. =) I enjoyed myself immensely- I may not be a favorite at Meadows (sure, people like me, but they'd rather spend time with Jordan) whereas the rest of the league knows me better than most other swimmers. So here's a shout-out to my competition as well as all my swimming friends (those categories overlap somewhat terribly =) ) Well, finals is tomorrow, and I am as excited and as nervous as ever. I woke up this morning 45 minutes before my alarm and couldn't go back to sleep and just sat there with a hole being dug into my stomach. I don't mind it while sitting here, but when I have nothing to do, I turn into a ball of nerves. Is this what Lainey feels like all the time? Doubt it. =)I'm also staying very hydrated today because I'm a good swimmer, but therefore, I have to pee every few minutes. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
And a soul for every cowboy. And a star to guide him home. And an angel to bring him, A song to sing when he's alone
So, the Tour de France is finally over. Lance Armstrong was completely and utterly unbeatable. Unbelievable. I thought for certain he would have some weakness this year, but he just didn't. He could go as fast as every single rider there. And no team was united enough to take on the cement glueing the Discovery Channel riders to Lance. He deserved to win, most certainly, so I am glad he did. But next year will be quite awesome (not asem, because that's not really the same as awesome, now is it?). No one will know what to do without Lancey to lead the race! How fantastic. Vinokourov won the final stage, it was truly amazing. No one expected that. I was happy. I like that Kazakh =)
Meadows is slowly winding down. I didn't truly realize it until Julia mentioned her sadness at the season ending. And it's true- we really only have five days left- three more days of practice. Ahhh, good times that Meadows swim team. Prelims are on thursday- I'll start getting nervous quite shortly, I admit. And finals! Ahh! People don't believe me when I say I used to be a terrible terrible swimmer, but I've only gone to finals twice before this. TWICE! In my entire swimming career. Few people know or would even accept that fact. You learn interesting things about me every day. =)
It was lovely chatting with Miss Carleton this evening. We used to talk more- and by "used" I mean in, like, April. =) We didn't really even know each other before December. Isn't that odd? Yes, yes it tis. We had Coldstone ice cream. They had black licorice as a new flavor. I don't think I've ever seen black ice cream before, but there is no denying that this was extreamly black. I tasted it- and liked it, although I don't think I could take a whole scoop of it. No siree. That little taste-spoon was quite enough, thank you very much. They also had wasabi ice cream. Now, I'm not THAT adventurous, I'm afraid.
I watched me push you down in dreams I had of you And all I remember about those days is I would run around thinking that you'd be alright But you lost your light along the way And oh you were right about the things I'd say Cause if I had it back again I know I'd treat you kind
I tried to swim a easy 100 in the boy's lane today at practice. They tied me to the deep-end rope. They're very discriminative, I must say. Kinda. But, then again, who wants to swim in the boys lane? They're all slackers, usually. =) It was fun.
Angie and I and Dad went to California to visit the Claremont schools. I liked Pomona a lot lot lot. It and Bowdoin are my favorites. I don't think I'll apply to more than 4-ish schools, if I don't apply early decision. I don't understand how people can apply to so many different places. Just pick! I'll have to talk to Mrs. Diebel in the Post-Grad place. But CA was fun- we went to a orange-county beach, which was actually much less glamorous than one might think. Lots and Lots of people were there- and it wasn't in a constant sunset, either. Not that I've actually seen The OC or 90210, but I know the gist of them. Oh! That's not true- I watched a little of The OC this spring because I had taped it because they played the Star Wars trailer during on of the commercial breaks. But the beaches were very fun- I do want to go to school by a ocean. But that rules out a lot of school middle-of-the-country schools. Ah well, you have to narrow them down somehow. =)
I knew the pollution near Los Angeles was supposed to be bad, but I was still somewhat suprised. But then we flew back to Denver and the smog here is worse than I remember it, too. Maybe because it's been 105 DEGREES!!! recently. No rain to get rid of the black cloud. 105!!! That tied a 1887 temperature for hottest day EVER! I thought this heat-wave was supposed to break last week! It's so so so incredibly hot.
HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! HARRY POTTER! I'm super excited! I didn't go to a midnight party- I had a swim meet early this morning. I probably wouldn't have gone anyway, but who knows? We ordered it from Amazon.com (support local business- I'm a hypocrite I know) and I was afraid that it wouldn't arrive in time! Because we're leaving tomorrow for California for only 2 days, but still! If the book hadn't arrived today, I think I might have cried. Probably not, though Jill did tear up because Angie dropped ANOTHER four? five? seconds in 100 butterfly. But I'm so excited about Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Wootwoot! I've only read the first chapter, because I've been at a swim meet and at lunch and watching the Tour de France (which is also very very exciting. T-mobile finally showed up. Yeah Jan! Yeah Lance! Yeah Floydy! Only one more climb left! Today! There are still several more after today! Enough exclamation marks already!) and Angie and I have to share it, which is nearly disasterous- I think for the next few days we might be on edge with eachother. Julie bought it last night at the Harry Potter party and read all through the night. She says it's the best one yet- AND that she cried for the last 100 pages. Oh dear. That means I'm going to be bawling. HARRY POTTER IS HERE!
** humming my own little tune at 3:59:00 PM
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July 12, 2005
I would if I could. I'd do most anything spontaneously. You know I would, if I could. I'll do anything spontaneously. If you could be nimble, you'd have it simple just like me. So go on and try it, do not deny yourself your freedom.
Angie and I took Ellen to see Star Wars last night. It was fabulous, as I expected. I hadn't seen it since May, so it was a lovely refreser. I can't wait for the DVD to come out- I want to watch that movie over and over again. And fast foward through the lame-o balcony scene which makes me cringe. But besides that!!!! Exclaimation marks galore. And Order 66 makes me so sad. Yesterday, after all the jedi-dieing, clones-betraying, Palpatine-laughing-evily scenes, Angie leaned over and gave me a piece of chocolate. "It cheers you up," said she. We snuck candy in from Wallgreens- movie theater pop corn is super expensivo. And I had some of those smoothie-mix skittles! They were quite delicious, I must say. I don't like those Tropical Skittles as much, but the mixes are very good. I felt like a sheep-boy. =) I hope you've all seen that commercial.
Ellen and Angie and I got Steph a dancing flower for her birthday. Along with the best birthday card EVER- and you just can't stop laughing over it. Steph had better appreciate that card. It's truly fantastic.
Ellen hadn't ever seen Attack of the Clones, either, so Angie and I made very hilarious cartoons describing AotC and The Phantom Menance. I would scan them in and keep them forever, but Ellen really wanted to keep them. They were fantastic, though. Stick figures which light-sabers connnecting to their arms, everyone was smiling all the time. And, of course, the plot was greatly simplified. Our stories could have been made into a 30-minute sit-com. Ang and I laughed more than El did, I think.
Graham just lent me his Phatom Menace soundtrack. How fabulous =)
What do you want me to do, to watch for you while you're sleeping? Well please don't be surprised when you find me dreaming too
I do love mountain stages in the Tour! And holy kazzaam! T-mobile knows how to work Mr. Armstrong. He didn't have a chance against the terrible trio. Jan Ullrich with Andreas Kloden and Mr. Alexander Vinokourov- they all certainly know how to ride their bikes. And they're all fairly cute. =) I couldn't help jumping up and down in my blue recliner while watching a bad reception taped Tour today. It was utmostly exciting. First Rasmussen got all the cat 3 climbs and is the new Polka-dotter, and then the break away with Pieter Weenings (I knew! I should have put him on my fantasy team. But that last name kept bothering me). And he then sprinted away from his break away. And the peloton got all broken up during the beginning of the climb and all the bestest people were stuck together as the first chase- Lance and Jan and Vino and Floydy and Basso and Kloden. And Lance was all by himself! (At the interview after the race Lance said "we'll have a chat with the boys tonight". If he had had one other Discovery guy with him, it would have been fine! but nooo) And Viny kept attacking and attacking and Lance had to chase him all by himself because Jan wouldn't help him, he just stuck to Lance's wheel. Then BAM! Kloden went and Lance just couldn't chase again. It was Genius! I hoped those T-mobile boys planned that, because if they didn't then I am giving them MUCH too much credit. =) My man Jan!
Slow down There's gonna be trouble You're gonna forget What you're doing
Jill came to dinner last night. I like to show off my parent's cooking. =) It was fun. I like Jill- she's a good coach and very nice to all us swimmers. Though she's been making us work very hard this week- and my parents really force Bob's evening swim camp on me, too. I got home from practice today at 8:30 (AM) and just collapsed. I slept until 1:01, on and off. I was tired. Plus, I didn't sleep that well last night, either. And article in the Daily Camera said that liberals dreams more than conservatives, and artists dream more than mathematicians. I could have guessed that. =) I dream a lot. Usually just random stuff, really, nothing that I would imagine has much consequence. I don't think, at least. Afterall, what is symbolic in searching desperately for that purple McDonald's chicken nugget?
I went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science yesterday with Emily. We saw the Mystery of the Nile Imax. It was good- it reminded me of Sahara- that movie with Owen Wilson. Wouldn't it be cool to be the first person to raft the Nile or swim the Bering Strait, or anything amazing? We've been around long enough that all the easy things have already been done. Wouldn't it be cool to be on an Imax? And when you're long-lost friends go with their kids to see a random Imax, they see your face plaster on a screen 70x bigger than an average movie? Yes, that would be cool.
I wonder what's she hiding- behind those dark, rhinestoned sunglasses and her light dusting of makeup. She laughs at everything, whether it's funny or stupid or gross or dramatic or overly depressing. What is that smile covering? She never says anything serious or anything that gives away what she thinks and feels. It confuses me. There is so much more to her than she wants to give away. What is she afraid of?
It's the perfect time of day It's the last day of your life Don't let it drift away While your heart is still racing It's the perfect time of day
Happy Fourth of July! Meadows, as always, was fabulous. Tug-o-war, which, after much thought, should be called war-of-tugs, actually, shouldn't it? Because you're not tugging because of war, but you're waring because of your tugs. That's right, I think. I officially got zero coins in the money toss, I had a dime, but someone kicked it out of my hand. I think that, too, is a first. It was a bundle of fun, though. I enjoyed myself immensley. And too top it all off- I was with the bestest friends in the world. =) And, of course, hamburgers and watermelon makes everything more enjoyable. So, again, I hope all of the country has a happy 4th as I do. =)
The Tour de France is on, we don't get OLN anymore, so the Irvin's are taping it for my biking-obessed family. Jinger made my day by saying she wanted Jan Ullrich to win. So do I. Is that very unAmerican? Probably. Sorry. I like Mr. Lance Armstrong, and I'm glad that he's done so fabulously and is so sucessful. But he is so sucessful. Can you imagine being second or third to him all the time? And he is so cocky and snotty- overcoming cancer of any kind is absolutely amazing, I don't want to down play what Lance has done- but shouldn't you have some sense of mortality from it? He isn't the king of the world. He has been beaten- but Americans only pay attention to the Tour because that is what our cycling hero does so well in. If we concentrated on the Giro de Italia or the Paris Rubeaux Lance would be a different story. So, yes, I'm rooting for Jan Ullrich. And Floyd Landis, too, because I still have a soft spot of Phonak and the rider-who-shall-not-be-named.
That maybe we ain't that young anymore Show a little faith there's magic in the night You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright Oh and that's alright with me
Lots of fabulous things happened today, and some not-quite-as-fabulous. I feel like I should call up all my fellow 15-18s and smack them a few times in the face. What I really should do is make a long, eloquent, impassioned speech at practice on Tuesday, but I'm not brave enough. I, however, am upset enough to write a long, some-what-eloquent, impassioned speech here. Our behavior at the meet today was disastrous. We're worse than those 13-14s we so mercilessly taunt. People nearly missed their events, didn't show at the heating area until their heat was in the first row, Jilly threw swimmers on the block as they were walking to get food. Our attention was that of a 5 year old, we were distracted and greatly penalized for it. You think beating Barracudas was the purpose of this meet? Of course not- every single swimmer knew that our events were messed up a bit, that the heat sheet looked different because this meet was our chance to try out different stuff- to swim events that we couldn't normally. Jill spent hours trying to get the girls relays equal in speed, and she did a fabulous job until one relay decided to go slow on purpose! She begged the boys to stop goofing around, and they paid not one iota of attention- poor Jill was disobeyed, disregarded, and destroyed by our total lack of respect. What is this? Aren't we supposed to be the role models? The 15-18s who cheer, who yell, who get good reports from the heating ladies and the timers? Making people laugh is one thing. Enjoying yourself is one thing. But purposefully throwing a race competely down the drain is another. Meadows is supposed to be well behaved and kind and good sports. But today our team didn't meet these expectations in the least.
But Dr. Jinger Gottschall did come to the meet! It was so absolutely fabulous to see her. =) It made me smile for the rest of the day- I'm still smiling, in fact. I'm afraid I made too must fun of her for only having 2 friends. I find that extreamly impossible to believe. I do hope she writes us like she said she would. Ahhh... The Jinge. Wouldn't it be so amazingly fabulous to have Jill AND Jinger to coach us next year. Shane aged everyone a year, and if no one quits, we'll have 47 15-18s on the team next year. UNBELIEVEABLE!! That's more that the entire LEAGUE had a few years ago. Can you imagine the chaos. So- if Jinger and Jill both coached us, then we could have the two most fabulous summer league coaches ever (although Shane and Maureen are high up) and it would be fabulous. But, Kristen, that will never ever happen, not in 10 billion trillion quadzillion years. But it's fun to think about, ain't it? =)
I'm super excited! I didn't go to a midnight party- I had a swim meet early this morning. I probably wouldn't have gone anyway, but who knows? We ordered it from Amazon.com (support local business- I'm a hypocrite I know) and I was afraid that it wouldn't arrive in time! Because we're leaving tomorrow for California for only 2 days, but still! If the book hadn't arrived today, I think I might have cried. Probably not, though Jill did tear up because Angie dropped ANOTHER four? five? seconds in 100 butterfly. But I'm so excited about Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince! Wootwoot! I've only read the first chapter, because I've been at a swim meet and at lunch and watching the Tour de France (which is also very very exciting. T-mobile finally showed up. Yeah Jan! Yeah Lance! Yeah Floydy! Only one more climb left! Today! There are still several more after today! Enough exclamation marks already!) and Angie and I have to share it, which is nearly disasterous- I think for the next few days we might be on edge with eachother. Julie bought it last night at the Harry Potter party and read all through the night. She says it's the best one yet- AND that she cried for the last 100 pages. Oh dear. That means I'm going to be bawling. HARRY POTTER IS HERE!
come out- I want to watch that movie over and over again. And fast foward through the lame-o balcony scene which makes me cringe. But besides that!!!! Exclaimation marks galore. And Order 66 makes me so sad. Yesterday, after all the jedi-dieing, clones-betraying, Palpatine-laughing-evily scenes, Angie leaned over and gave me a piece of chocolate. "It cheers you up," said she. We snuck candy in from Wallgreens- movie theater pop corn is super expensivo. And I had some of those smoothie-mix skittles! They were quite delicious, I must say. I don't like those Tropical Skittles as much, but the mixes are very good. I felt like a sheep-boy. =) I hope you've all seen that commercial. 
